Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
