READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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