Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
