I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
