She said her name was "party"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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