Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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