I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
