i would punch a child for taco bell
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
