I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
