I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
