I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
