I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
