if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
