I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
