hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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