Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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