I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
