I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
