She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
well you can't waste a boner
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
