Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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