I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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