So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
