Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
