fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
