i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize