Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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