if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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