walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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