i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
