and she was petting her beer can
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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