i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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