You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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