How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What a dumb baby whore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
