i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
