I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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