You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
