i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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