I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
