U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
