I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
