We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
