she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
