I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
