fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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