just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
