:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
