i just wanna soil my oats bro
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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