I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize