If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize