I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
