Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
