spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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