its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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