when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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