i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
