the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
